film is a like a mirror

Watching films on the ‘big screen’ often can be a mirror to the movie goer’s heart and mind.  So, beware.  Several films force you to ask – “do I really believe what I tell others?”  For example, the classic film, Guess Who is Coming to Dinner, forces us to ask, “Do I really consider people of all races, genders, socio-economic statuses, etc. equal?”  In this film, the Draytons have taught their daughter, “Joey”, of such things but when she brings her African-American fiancé home, the dad’s true beliefs are exposed.  He is a bigot.  In the film, Crash, we see our true humanity (the good, the bad, the ugly) exposed on the big screen.  This movie shows us that not only do we treat others based on stereotypes  but we don’t live life in a vacuüm but rather, our actions (and inactions) affect others.  Sometimes this affect is immediate; at other times it is delayed.  The inter-connectivity our of lives is beautifully illustrated by Edith Schaeffer who says that our lives are weaved together as a quilt or tapestry.  Additionally, this film shows us that we are capable of doing virtuous things and also villanous things.  The same cop (Matt Dillion) that molest an African-American woman while his husband helplessly looks on turns out to be her ’savior’; saving her from an overturned car that eventually explodes.  The ‘good cop’ (Officer Tom Hansen) who is disgusted at this bad cop’s behavior kills Det. Waters’ younger brother because he assumed that he might be reaching for a gun?  Truly, this movie affirms that each human person is truly a real life Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde dual personality!

random thoughts and texting

Random Thoughts

1. Why are we (as Americans) obsessed with fake hair, teeth, eyelashes and breasts?  Are we (men) driving women to do such things?  Is Hollywood driving men and women to spend money on such things?  Are we trying to sequester aging? 
2. My heart aches for the Woods family – especially, for the kids.  And I guess I understand why sponsors are dropping Tiger from their line up to promote their products.  I suppose such indiscretions bring shame on the sponsor’s name and product.  Yet, I wonder do these sponsors realize that every ‘human face’ of their products has hidden crap?  Some are found out (like Tiger); others do well to hide their mess or indiscretions.  Are these sponsors looking for a squeaky clean or perfect person to promote their products?  If so, who exactly fits that bill?  I am in no way trying to condone Tiger’s infidelity because adultery wreaks havoc widely.  But are sponsors (and the public) actually encouraging high-profile people like Tiger (Bill Clinton, Jonathan Edwards, etc.) to commit hypocrisy?  Are we allowing these broken people the freedom to parade their broken-ness in public or do we force broken people to pretend they have it ‘all together’ when they really don’t?

 

Texting and driving

I remember attending a seminar on guarding one’s time at work.  On the top of the list was managing emails because if not managed well, answering and responding to email can consume most of one’s work day.  I recall vividly what the presenter said: “remember the ‘e’ in email does not mean emergency but rather electronic.”  That saying has served me well to this day (although many emailers expect their emails to be treated as an emergency and answered quickly).    Yet, I wonder if texting has a hidden “emergency” associated with it.  Why do I ask?  We (motorists) have been warned of the dangers of texting and driving, however, I see many still texting and driving (including yours truly).  Do we try to return a text while driving because it is like a person to person conversation?  In conversations there is little dead space; rather, two or more people are engaged and exchanging words back and forth.  Is this why we text and drive because it would be awkward and rude not to exchange words back and forth in a person to person conversation?

US presidency and marriage

In the Time, December 7, 2009 issue, Joe Klein writes, “the media are giving Obama grief for just about everything.”  Bingo!  In black and white, Klein communicates what I have been thinking for a while now.  Yet, I refrained to write this post because I did not want some to say, “He is just saying that because he is an African-American and Obama is an African-American.”  Well, those who know me well would hopefully quip, “he is not that shallow.”  In fact, before the election, I told all African-American audience to make sure to be an informed voter; don’t be a sentimental voter.  In other words, I told this group, “it would be irresponsible to vote for Obama just because he is black.”  (Someone later asked, “Is Luke a republican?”  Isn’t that interesting? Just because I encouraged a group of African-Americans to be informed and discerning voters, I was thought to be a republican.  Wow!)   Obama has not been in office a year and he has been criticized relentlessly.  I can’t remember – were former presidents lambasted like this early in their presidency?  Perhaps the media and others should adopt  Klein’s “long term” stance.  Klein writes ”…it is way too early to make pronouncement on Obama’s fate…it is a long game, which will yield results, or not, over time” (p. 29).  I certainly adopt this notion too.  I see it this way - a presidency is like a good marriage; a good marriage does not happen over night but it morphs over the long term.

third string

I learn from many people.  My wife teaches me.  My colleagues and professors teach me.  My students teach me.  My daughter teaches me – she offers me tips on teaching and motivating my college students.  My 15-year old son taught me a lesson recently.   He is a freshman in high school.  The good news is that he made the cut – he’s on the freshmen basketball team.  The bad news is that he is a third stringer.  As a father who has watched his son excel in basketball, football and baseball, it is difficult to see him ‘riding the bench.’  (I rode the bench as a third string freshman high school football player but I deserved it.  I was no athlete.  My heart and head were not in the game.)  The talent on my son’s basketball team is very good at this level.  At his position (guard), the team is very deep.  I believe there are 3 guys ahead of him.  My son will get to start in four “B games” but in the mean time he is keeping player stats, etc.  For me, this would be humiliating and I would probably quit the team.  However, my son said to me, “Dad, it’s okay.  The other guys are better than me.”  Wow.  Now, that is commendable.  While my pride or ego would be wounded, my son’s pride is apparently not wounded because he is okay with his ‘position’ on the team.  What a lesson!  Perhaps, the lesson here is that we need to accept who we are and be okay with that.

15-year-old son with a drivers permit

I often read the Zits cartoon strip by cartoonists, Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman, for a laugh and for understanding our teenagers.  This cartoon strip chronicles the ups and downs of Jeremy, a typical teenager, and his exasperated and sometimes pleasantly surprised parents.  The cartoonists apparently are parents of teenagers because they often nail it (two samples are included – parents of teenagers, you judge for yourself).  I remember one comic strip in particular in which they illustrated the anxiety of Jeremy’s parents when they began the ‘exciting and exhilarating’ task of teaching him how to drive.  I was quite anxious myself yesterday.  My 15-year-old son in the driver’s seat; and yours truly in the passenger seat.  We drove less than a mile and I realized that the boy has a heavy foot.  How do I know that?  Because I was desperately and frantically pressing my imaginary brake pedal on the passenger side to no avail.  Yet, this is a good reminder of how I probably caused great angst for my grandparents when they taught me how to drive.  What goes around comes around.

behold His creation

Several years ago, I remember hearing Dr. Cal DeWitt, professor of environmental studies with the Nelson Institute at the University of Wisconsin, say once that he had his students lay down in a forest and behold God’s creation: leaves descending to the ground.  I often think of this statement during Fall seasons in St. Louis.   Fall season in St. Louis is indeed a treat to the eyes.  We are treated to a rich and colorful array of vivid yellow, green, golden yellow, brown, red orange, burnt orange, candy apple and dark red leaves that glisten like a new Christmas toy against a bright sun lit baby blue sky.  The pictures included in this post help tell the story but these pictures are only images of the real thing.  Nevertheless, what a display of beauty! Each day is a new treat to God’s artistry! 

young african american men

My activity on Tuesdays is fairly routine. I teach one course on Tuesday, do some administrative office work and then attend a class at the University of Missouri-St. Louis (UMSL) that evening.  And what I see while driving to my early evening UMSL class is fairly routine too.  I often see young African American men sauntering down the streets with low wearing pants, caps cocked to the side or worn backwards.  Here’s my struggle – it’s not the attire but what the  “attire” communicates.  Their attire communicates a certain mood; their attire communicates a resignation (this is the way it is so why care?); their attire communicates apathy; their attire communicates seemingly a hopelessness; their attire communicates cynicism and their attire communicates a lack of urgency.  I often agonize over “what can I do”?  Don’t they know that opportunities exist for them?  Will this cycle of disengaged young African-American men ever be broken?   Barack Obama is our first African American President; yet, I see very little change – overt and covert forms of racism still exists and apathy among young African American males still exists.   However, I am not all knowing nor am I all seeing.  So, I earnestly hope there are incremental changes taking place someone in St. Louis city and across the many urban contexts across the United States.

men: not feminine to cry!

I like going to Great Clips because I engage with my “stylist” in thoughtful conversation among other things.  Yesterday, I asked  how her Gender Class was going?  She said, “It’s going very well.”  She went on to say, “It is interesting how men have been conditioned by our society.”  I added, “Yes, our families of origin have also contributed to our conditioning.”  Then she said, “Men have been conditioned not to cry because they are accused of being feminine.  Or men are encouraged not to get in touch with their feminine side.”   I then said, “We need to change this idea that men who cry are getting in touch with their feminine side.  Rather, it is human to cry.  Just like it is human to experience joy or any other emotion.  All humans were born with tear ducts to shed you guessed it,  tears.”  So, it’s not being feminine when men cry; rather, it is human to cry regardless on one’s gender.

patience

Okay, I went to my oral surgeon today.  A little history is in order.  Two weeks ago, I went to the same oral surgeon and had to wait nearly an hour before my name was called to follow the assistant to the examining room.   So, this time, I arrived about 10 minutes early to better my chances of getting in right away.  I still had to wait 30 minutes or so to have my name called to follow the assistant to the examining room.  After the surgeon came into the room to give me some instructions on wearing a splint, he said, “Thanks for being patience.”  Crap!  I thought to myself.  I am the least patient guy in this office.  My patience or lack thereof was tried again.  On my way home,   I arrive at this 3 mile stretch that is only two lanes and you guessed it; the traffic inches along at a snail’s pace.  There are no accidents.  There are no animals in the road.  What’s going on?  I see school busses but they are moving.  I was getting more and more impatient with the motorist in front of me; he or she allowed everyone to make a left turn even when he or she had the right of way.  I almost hit my horn but I restrained myself.  Needless to say, I need to grow in patience.

beyond ‘firsts’

America elected Obama, the first African-American president several months ago.  Sotomayor, the first Hispanic supreme court justice was confirmed by the Senate.  I was the first African-American to manage a not-for-profit organization at a local seminary.  I know of a young man who was the first African-American to earn a PhD from a major midwest university.  Madeleine Albright was the first woman to serve as the United States Secretary of State.  It is certainly true that America has a rich and colorful diversity of races, religions, cultures and ethnicities.  And all Americans should celebrate this treasure.  Yet, my hope is that we can get beyond ‘firsts’; that is, wouldn’t it be wonderful that all sectors of our society, all branches of our government, all our neighborhoods, all our classrooms be more indicative of our rich and colorful diversity of races, religions, cultures and ethnicities so that we can refrain from saying, “he or she is the first”?