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Okay, on my way back from Houston, TX several weeks ago, I was pulled over for speeding.  I was going 82 mph in a 65 mph speeding zone.  I was clearly speeding and guilty.  The police officer approaches the car and asked that question, “Sir, you were traveling at a speed well above the posted speed limit, can you tell me why?”  This is where wisdom comes in.  I thought for a moment: “What could I possibly say that he will let me go without a ticket?”  My initial conclusion was: “nothing.”  Then I started entertaining different responses: “I need to get my wife to the hospital because she is having a baby.”  (problem: I was traveling alone.) Or “No, stupid, I just was speeding and just give me a ticket.” (problem: I was traveling alone and the guy could have beaten me to a pulp.)  Or “I have a dead body in my trunk and I need to get it back in time for the mortuary to do its thing.”  (problem: I did not have a trunk.  But, my boss used this reason once because he did have a dead body in his trunk at one time and because he was a licensed mortician and he was rushing back to embalm the body in time for a funeral service.)  So, I jettisoned those responses and responded this way: “The 65 mph speeding zone just rushed upon me so suddenly and I didn’t have time to respond.”  I knew that this response would not earn me any sympathy but it was better than the other responses and that’s why I am alive to today!

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